_     _             
                        _ __ | |__ | | ___   __ _ 
                       | '_ \| '_ \| |/ _ \ / _` |
                       | |_) | | | | | (_) | (_| |
                       | .__/|_| |_|_|\___/ \__, |
                       |_|    ...2017-12-10 |___/ 

The little blue HP Stream 11

It was crippeled from birth with Windows 8 and 32 GiB flash storage. But it was kind of okay. Then came an upgrade to Windows 10, and things started going even more south, it was impossible to free enough space to actually do the update! Unfortunately, the updater would actually check the available free disk space, deem it sufficuent and then proceed to download the main payload, upon starting the upgrade, it would then detect that there was too little disk space left, proceed to remove the upgrade proper and then start downloading it again. Nice one, Microsoft.

Thing is, I like this little machine, it's quite sufficient in performance for

my travel needs, and it is small and light and cheap enough to just throw in a backpack and not worry too much about. Sure, I'd be sad if it broke, but mainly because, then I'd not have it anymore, and I like it!

Enter the penguin!

Luckily, dd if=xubuntu*.iso of=/dev/sdf created a bootable USB stick for me, and I was then able to boot the ubuntu install(press esc right after pressing power) and install xubuntu, yay, runs fine, yay, xfce4 is what I crave.

And so it is, that I'm writing this here little blogpost

on my little blue laptop.

Thinking about what to write / do / say / make / cook / play / eat / watch

It is not that I don't have any ideas of what to write, it's just that, I kind of thing it over at times when I'm not actually writing, and then, having already thought about what to say, I no longer keep in mind to actually write it down. Likely I forget to do actually write stuff down because I've already thought it over, thus, it's processed, and my brain goes "Next!". This is something I do too much.. I feel like stuff is done after having thought about how to do it, and then, I never get around to actually realizing the things. I have multiple software and hardware projects that have been fully realized, from inception to mass-production, entirely inside my mind, and my motivation for continuing with actually doing it drops to zero, I already got what I wanted from them by thinking about it, so don't really need to go through the hassle of actually doing it.


I'm still reading "What the Dormouse Said" and it's still good. I'm also starting "Paddle your own Canoe", which seems very prommising.


I was abroad for a company event this week, it was interesting, and there was quite a long bus travel involved getting there and getting back again. During that long travel, I had the opportunity to just sit and ponder. I've felt useless, incapable, unqualified and unproductive at times, and I do struggle with an Imposter complex that is a bit on the strange side.. Just like Dunning-Krueger starts becoming weird when you think about it, and you know about it, and you know you know... So, I'll use that as an anology before trying to explain why my relationship with feeling as an imposter is complex. So, in short, Dunning-Krueger tells us that individuals who are less capable consistently report their own skills and confidence as being signifigantly higher than they actually are. In even shorter: They're so ignorant that they can't understand that they're ignorant. Now... Knowing that that kind of cognitive bias exist, and at the same time being honest about a desire to feel intelligent (by recogition), it feels very hard to know whether one feels inadequate because one is, because one wants to feel that way (because it would imply that one is not) or because one is capable to the degree of humbleness. It's the same the same dilemma with imposter syndrome, I desire to feel capable, and that makes me biased, since I know that the very definition of imposter syndrome is _NOT_ being an imposter, but being actually capable, so.. Do I then feel like an imposter because I want to no be one ? Or do I just feel like an imposter because I am actually one? I may never know. But, I was reflecting upon that on my journey in the bus, and there was a particular thing that humbled me, and made me feel proud, even though it is a very very small and in may ways insignificant thing. Some time ago, I wrote the script which is the entrypoint to our build system, I thought about how silly a contribution tht was, but also recognized that it is a component which is run by every member of the team, multiple times per day. It might be one of the most used pieces of code that we have.. Granted, it's a rather trivial thing (once you know Docker), but still. What made me proud was not that I'd written it, it had to be written, but, rather, that nobody had rewritten it, or changed it to any extent where it was no longer my initial expression. That insight made me feel good. Knowing that, despite it all, this little piece of code that I wrote, has so far, proven good enough that nobody has felt a need to change it, they've not been unhappy enough with it that they changed it! It's not been so buggy that it's needed patching. I enjoy making things, and when they're used, and people are not forced to, then it feels almost like I'm not a fake. I smiled for a bit when I realized that.. Even if I might still be a fake. Peace.