_     _             
                        _ __ | |__ | | ___   __ _ 
                       | '_ \| '_ \| |/ _ \ / _` |
                       | |_) | | | | | (_) | (_| |
                       | .__/|_| |_|_|\___/ \__, |
                       |_|    ...2018-02-25 |___/ 

So much to do that nothing gets done

I've kind of continually built this huge list in my head, of things I want to do "some time when I've got nothing else to do", I may have added to this list since I was a teenager.. Some of the things that pop up must have been put there so many years ago.. I've never really formalized the list, i've never really taken anything off of it.. The list seems so full now, full of items which may be tivial, things that I don't need.. That I don't have to do.. Thing is, it's kind of a prioritized list, it's generally not okay to do the lesser important things before the important ones.. But, not everything on the list is there because i WANT to do them, maybe the problem is that I have only one list, containing two different categories of things.. Things I would like to do / Priority Things that need to be done / Priority There may be a slight overlap, there are things, that when the universe is in a certain state, has to be done, that I don't mind doing. Those things include mundanities such as mowing the lawn, cooking, eating, maintaining the house. But when the universe is in a less perfectly arranged state, those things are but chores, and only eating up time that I'd prefer to spend on things of the type "Would like to do", but.. I find it very difficult to do things I like to do, when I know that there are still things that "has to be done".. I struggle with arguing that "I _have_ to do this non-important thing because it makes me happy and prevents me from becoming stressed and depressed", that almost only adds another layer of stress, because now recreation has become a chore too, and with chores, you generally want to maximise gain and minimise expense. There is something stressful about trying to determine how to best spend ones time on recreation.. And there is something contradictive in trying to optimize how one wastes ones time.